Our Story
By Bob and Lisa
We had been trying unsuccessfully for years to have a baby of our own. Age had been a contributing factor, although Lisa still had a few years left until the so-called "cut-off" point of age 43. When we decided that trying to conceive naturally just wasn't working, we turned to in-vitro fertilization, or IVF. The first attempt resulted in a miscarriage just after nine days after implant, and a second attempt failed to produce any quality eggs. The total costs of these IVF attempts were approximately $25,000.
The next option in line was surrogacy. Whereas our IVF doctors had given
us
a 10% of a successful pregnancy, surrogacy had given us a 50% chance. However,
surrogacy proved to be even more of a nightmare. The first surrogate agency we
we went with was a start-up agency. We were introduced to a young woman
that we really liked and felt good about. Soon after signing the necessary
paperwork and moving forward with the process, the surrogate began showing signs
of questionable conduct. When we brought this to the attention of the
agency, the agency decided to do a background check. We were upset
that a background check was not conducted in the first place. In any event, it
was discovered that the surrogate had a criminal background, two different last names and was actually
suing a previous couple who had chosen her to carry their child. So we terminated
our relationship with that agency, and unfortunately lost
our $1,000, non-refundable deposit.
We then retained the services of another, more established surrogate
agency. We had been matched with a first-time surrogate. The surrogate was
successfully impregnated. However, the surrogate abruptly stopped taking the
fertility shots after ten weeks and immediately miscarried. Devastated, we wanted to try one more time, with a new surrogate. Unfortunately,
Lisa
just didn't have enough quality eggs to continue so we decided that it was
time to adopt. By this time, we had spent over $60,000 in surrogate and agency
fees.
We opted for open adoption. We felt this would be in the best interest of the child by giving the natural parents the opportunity to be a part of his/her life. Before, during and after the birth of Baby Bryan, we had assured the birth parents that we want them to continue to be a part of his life. We had made arrangements to fly them to California during Christmas and have them stay with us for a weekend. We also sent photos and letters on a regular basis, as promised. Unfortunately, this has turned out to be yet another heartbreak for us. Four months after we arrived home with our beautiful new baby boy, the birth parents decided they wanted him back and we are now involved in a financially devastating and emotionally draining court battle. And while they are using unethical tactics, threats and false accusations (including being involved in a black market baby selling ring), we are still sending photos and update letters with the hope that the birth parents will drop the case so that we can salvage our relationship with them and continue to maintain the arrangements that we had all agreed upon.
To date, Bob and Lisa have spent $85,000 in IVF and surrogacy costs, $40,000 in adoption costs and well over $100,000 in litigation costs.
Litigation fees continue to mount and we are reaching out to our family, friends and community to help keep Baby Bryan home.
Excess funds, if any, will be donated to the Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption.
To read about the case and court proceedings, click here...